Decorative image of a meal made by a good homemaker

Are You A Good Homemaker? How To Be A Good Homemaker In 2020

A daily goal for me is to learn how to be a good homemaker. There are many good qualities of a homemaker that makes living with them a true joy.

What makes a good homemaker? She is someone that cleans daily, always leaves her house smelling heavenly, makes her family and guests comfortable, follows a smart routine, and yet still finds time for herself.

But that’s just the basics of what good qualities a homemaker has.

You need to dive deeper into what a homemaker really is before you can really start to embody those good qualities.

When I was younger, I saw homemaking as a lesser position for a modern. Who would want to stay home all day when they could find fulfillment with a job?

Maybe it was actually working a job that changed my mind.

Decorative image of a good homemaker with her child
Staying home with children isn’t always easy, but it is a satisfying life choice

Why would I want to be subservient to a manager or boss that thought very little of me, knew nothing about me, and did very little to help me or make my life easier?

My managers didn’t give me raises I deserved, didn’t care about my family, and refused to hire the right amount of people to do the work they were asking us to do.

All the while, my own husband was coming home to a disaster of a house.

While my managers couldn’t care less about me, my husband loved me. He cared for me when I was sick, was invested in our children, and did what he could to help around the house.

Wasn’t he more worthy of my time and effort than some random guy that I only knew because I wanted to bring home a paycheck?

I eventually decided that yes, my husband did deserve more of me.

Once we had a good savings put away, I quit my job and came home full time.

And while I do still run online businesses and bring in some money to help with the bills, my main jobs are of a homemaker and stay at home mom.

That transition was so worth it to me, and really changed my perspective on life. All success for the family begins in the home.

When I can make a comfortable home where my husband and children can really relax, I give room for all of us to work harder at work or school.

So if you want to embody the qualities of a good homemaker, try to pick up some of the following 19 skills and habits.

Decorative image of strawberries set out by a good homemaker
Simple touches like a beautiful bowl of strawberries with lunch can make homemaking more aesthetically pleasing. A bowl of strawberries can be a yummy addition to my toddler meal plan!

A Good Homemaker Doesn’t Make Excuses

Within reason, of course. If you are very sick and feeling weak because of it, or if you just gave birth a week ago, those aren’t excuses.

Those are good reasons to let others help you the same way you would help them.

But in your day to day, you will find yourself facing a wall of laziness.

We all do. There isn’t a single person out there that wakes up every morning excited to spend 12 hours cooking and cleaning.

Complaining and finding excuses to not do what you need to do isn’t the answer to that lack of motivation. The answer is to learn to be strong against such negative emotions.

Not only will that make you a better homemaker, it will help you to persevere when hard times hit.

I can tend to be very whiny and make excuses to get my husband to help me. This became much worse after I was pregnant, because he wanted to do everything for me so that I would be more comfortable.

Now I have to relearn how to do things for myself.

It’s a struggle, but that’s okay, because I want to be a stronger person that can stand on my own two feet. Don’t you?

Decorative image of a husband and his wife in a pristine kitchen
Homemaking is about more than cooking and cleaning!

She Has Good Homemaking Role Models

Many modern women did not grow up with model homemakers to look up to. Our moms were of a generation that wanted to work and put their kids in daycare rather than care for the home.

And while that was their choice, and I won’t judge them for it, that did make it so fewer people in our generation learned how to take care of a home.

I had one Home Economics class in high school, and in it we only learned how to cook a few things. We didn’t learn how to sew, how to clean, or about keeping to a cleaning schedule.

Those are important skills that don’t come easily to a lot of us. So as adults, we must find good role models and learn from them. Maybe it’s Martha Stewart, maybe it’s a vlogger on YouTube, or maybe it’s your grandma.

Whoever it is, spend time learning from them and ask them many questions.

Decorative image of a good homemaker holding a vase with baby's breath flowers in it
Decorating with small touches can make a home more hygge. Putting flowers from your own garden into a vase will make the whole room lovely.

A Good Homemaker Tries New Things

It is good practice for all people to constantly evolve and change as our situations change. This is especially true of mothers and homemakers, whose lives change as their families grow.

When you find that something does not work as well as you expected it to (or as well as it used to), people able to adapt to that is a virtue. Instead of moping over a failed experiment, find a new way to achieve your goals.

For instance, my schedule before I had my son changed drastically after I had him. I used to do the bulk of my cleaning right before my husband came home at 3 pm, but with an infant and then toddler that needed my attention I needed to adapt.

Now I clean a little bit throughout the day, and have a weekly schedule that helps me get everything done without having to find the time to do a deep clean.

For you, this might mean trying new cleaning techniques, finding new ways to keep yourself motivated, or moving your furniture to better suit your family.

Decorative image of an eccentric home with colorful pillows and flamingo wallpaper
Being a homemaker means you make all the decisions about how your home looks. Wouldn’t flamingo wallpaper be interesting?!

She Counts Her Blessings

It is easy to let the daily tasks get us down. Homemaking truly never ends, and there is always something that can be done.

The moment you vaccuum your floor, your kids will track in dirt. As soon as you clean the kitchen counter, it will be time to prepare raw chicken for dinner.

But we must remember that for everything we dread and hate about our day, there is someone praying to have that exact thing.

There are women out there praying for the life that you are taking for granted.

Improve your attitude and look at all the amazing things you have. You have electric tools to help you get your cleaning done faster than even your mom could.

You have devices to listen to podcasts so you never have to be bored. You have a husband that loves you and kids that look up to you.

It is important for homemakers to find things to be grateful for every day. Writing those things down in a journal will help you to feel grateful even when you can’t currently think of something to be grateful for.

Don’t let those small blessings get away from you without feeling thankful for them. You never know when they might be taken from you!

Decorative image of a family sitting in the kitchen and enjoying each other's company. The parents are drinking wine. The daughter is playing with a kid's digital camera. The little boy, front and center, is looking at the ground.
Being a homemaker isn’t about having a strict and well-manicured life. Go with the flow and do what feels right for your unique family.

She Takes Care Of Her Mental Health

This is a tough one for homemakers and moms all over the world. Our natural instinct is to care for others first, and then put our own needs dead last.

But how can you care for others when you are tired, depressed, anxious, or just plain mentally unwell?

I am not telling you to become selfish and self-centered, but you need to take care of yourself, and this extends past mere self care.

Sure, carving out time for a bubble bath or reading a book is great and necessary for all homemakers, but take this a step further.

If you are miserable all day, that isn’t mentally healthy. So maybe you should carve out the time and money to go see a therapist? Or at the very least, maybe you should speak with your doctor about medication?

There is a stereotype of miserable homemakers for a reason. Don’t let yourself become part of that statistic, and take your mental health seriously. Your whole family will be better off for it.

If you think about it, putting your mental health first is really the only way to consistently help others.

When you’re not feeling your best, you can’t put real effort into being charitable and friendly. How can you make your home warm and inviting when you feel cold and alone?

So please, take care of yourself.

Decorative image of a blonde woman sitting on a hygge couch with her white fluffy dog. There is a ceramic pineapple in the blurry foreground with candles and other decor. Behind them is a green tree by a window.
Having the time to enjoy your family and even your pets is one of the great blessings of being a homemaker.

A Good Homemaker Follows A Schedule

It’s true that you can get a lot done by merely looking around you to see what needs to be done. But will you catch everything that has been left uncleaned for months?

Do you think to do the baseboards with regularity? When is the last time you swept and mopped under your refrigerator?

None of us can rely on our brains to remember everything that must be remembered. That’s why we need to follow a schedule.

Not only that, but we need to constantly look for new things to add to the schedule. I didn’t think to add the space under the fridge onto my schedule until a few months after creating it.

You can have a paper schedule, but I prefer to use an app. Specifically, I use Tody App, which keeps track of your schedule by room and by how often you should do a task. It has a health bar that is green when a task has just been done, but slowly goes to red when it is time to do it again.

I love Tody because it gives me the flexibility to do tasks sooner than I have scheduled, while still keeping track of the maximum time I have allowed to do said task.

You can still use paper schedules, though. A simple to-do list is great. I often check Pinterest when I need inspiration for what to clean next, or what I haven’t ever thought to clean before.

If you can keep to a good cleaning schedule, skipping few days and focusing on what you have prioritized, your house will never be a complete disaster.

Decorative image of a loving mother and her daughter dancing in the living room. The daughter is wearing an adorable pink dress. The mother is wearing comfortable jeans and a beige sweater.
Take the time to play with your children. Dance and invent new games with them.

She Wants To Do Better

I am never satisfied with the status quo. It is very important to me that I am always striving to do more and be the best version of myself that I can be.

In this way, I avoid comparing myself to others. My only competition is who I was yesterday, not the super mom on Instagram.

When I fall into laziness and don’t do the dishes for a day or two, I remember how much it sucks to have to do a full sink of dishes compared to doing them a little throughout the day.

And when I realize that I did something wrong, or made the house less comfortable in some way, I always look for ways to fix my mistakes. This is another area where Pinterest comes in handy, as it is a great search engine for finding life advice.

A good homemaker should likewise always be interested in self improvement.

Decorative image of an eccentrically decorated wall with wicker baskets. There are many indoor plants like a palm plant and cactuses in terracotta planters. A ceramic elephant is on the table surrounded by other decor. On the bench, there is a gold tea set.
Your home doesn’t have to be boring! Choose interesting decor and make every room a different experience.

She Has A Purpose For Her Homemaking

Your reason for homemaking might be very different from my own. I want to exalt God and serve my family and guests by having a clean, healthy, and comfortable home.

But maybe you just want a home that you can relax in, or one that is suitable to entertain guests at any moment.

Whatever your purpose for homemaking is, make sure it is at the forefront of your mind. Every choice you make in your home will hinge on why you are homemaking in the first place.

I choose what to do every day, and how often to do every task, based on my family’s desires and needs. My husband doesn’t care if I sweep the porch daily, but he does want a nicely made bed and clean socks.

My kids don’t care if their toys are neatly displayed, they just want them to be easily accessed and they need them to be regularly disinfected.

So find a purpose for what you are doing, and use that to guide you in your home.

Decorative image of a family playing on a gray couch. Dad has his son upside down over his shoulder. Mom is hugging her daughter close. They all look like they are laughing and having a good time in this well lit living room with a fireplace.
Learning to love to spend time with your family will make your children smarter, happier, and more resilient.

She Actively Seeks Out Motivation

The lazy homemaker lets her lack of motivation keep her from taking care of her home. That doesn’t have to be you, though! You can look for motivation in many places:

  • Pinterest has many pins with quotes and other motivational materials
  • Youtube videos can be motivational
  • Watching vintage films and television shows with old fashioned homemakers can be very motivational
  • Checking your gratitude journal can be motivating
  • Listening to fun, fast music is a great source of motivation and energy that will make all the cooking and cleaning go by faster
  • Good homemaking podcasts can keep you entertained, teach you new things, while motivating you to do more

You just need to seek out the motivation that works best for you! One of my favorite ways to be motivated is by watching “clean with me” videos on Youtube.

Clean with me videos on Youtube really motivate me when I am feeling down

A Good Homemaker Relies On Good Habits

When even motivation fails you, good habits will carry you through. Once you have made it a habit to do the dishes daily, it will feel weird when you don’t do the dishes.

That sensation will push you through the low energy days and help you to do more than you thought you could.

Motivation is actually massively overrated. It’s a fleeting burst of energy that doesn’t actually help you to accomplish much. If I relied only on motivation, I wouldn’t cook for my kids or even take a shower many days.

Because motivation fluctuates over time, it is an unreliable force for getting things done. But building habits means that you will be getting the basics done every day for your whole life.

The biggest tip is to start with very small habits. If you are just starting as a homemaker, go with the FlyLady approach and make sure your sink is sparkling clean every night. Once that is a habit, then add daily sweeping to your habits.

Keep going and over time you will have many healthy habits that make you seem like a homemaking pro.

Decorative image of a husband and wife lounging on a bed and eating pizza. There is an acoustic guitar by the bed and interesting decor around the room. The wife is feeding her husband the pizza.
Spending time with loved ones is such a blessing.

She Knows How To Prioritize

What is your priority every day?

My advice is to think of the 3 to 5 things you must get done each day, and if the rest of your list doesn’t happen, then it’s fine.

Generally, my list looks something like this:

  1. Dishes
  2. Disinfect doorknobs and light switches
  3. Clean and disinfect counters
  4. Clean and disinfect sink and toilet handle
  5. Vacuum
  6. Sweep
  7. etc…

And the first 4 or 5 things will be what I knock out first thing in the day. That way, as the chaos of being a mom and wife sets in, I know I have done the most important things for that day.

Decorative image of a woman reading a physical book with a cup of coffee. She is wearing dark socks and sitting on what looks to be a bed. The book seems to be a nonfiction book about history, as there are black and white photos of boats and houses.
Don’t be a one-dimensional homemaker. Learn new things, read often, and keep being an interesting woman!

She Actively Seeks Out Ways To Make Money

You didn’t expect this one, did you? But it’s true. A good homemaker builds her home, including making money. Traditional homemakers have always been business owners and entrepreneurs!

Even the Proverbs 31 wife dealt with merchants and bought real estate. She was busy with building up her home in all ways, not just by cooking and cleaning.

How can a good homemaker make money? By running businesses based on homemade crafts, blogging, or doing other work from home jobs, you can still focus on your homemaking duties while building wealth for your family.

Decorative image of an Asian family cuddling a very fuzzy, very annoyed looking cat. They are sitting on a brown couch with comfy looking pillows. The mom is holding the annoyed cat while two little boys pet the cat.
Being a good homemaker makes you an important asset for your entire family.

She Knows When To Ask For Help

When we become overwhelmed, we often become paralyzed. This is why it’s so important for a good homemaker to know when to ask for help from her husband and children.

It’s also important to understand your own limits. If you are not strong enough to lift something, ask for help from your husband. If you don’t feel comfortable dealing with an electrical issue, hire help.

Of course you should always try to learn how to do things you don’t know how to do, but there is nothing shameful about asking for and receiving help. If you would gladly help someone to perform a task, give yourself permission to ask for help, too.

Decorative image of a beige dog sitting on his fluffy, comfortable dog bed in front of a couch. He seems to be waiting for his owner to come play.
Even your dogs enjoy a well made home!

A Good Homemaker Gets Her Kids In On The Action

So many children grow up not knowing how to cook, clean, or decorate a home. How sad!

Even little boys should learn how to do these tasks, because chances are he will live alone for a time before getting married. He’ll also probably have to help out with these tasks when his own wife is pregnant, or when you are ill and need his help.

It is just good parenting to teach both boys and girls how to do everything around the house. There is nothing good that can come from doing everything for them. All you do when you neglect to teach them how to make their homes is cripple them as adults.

Be a good parent. Make your kids help you around the home. Patiently teach them how to do everything that you do, without expecting perfection.

Decorative image of a beautiful red head sitting on a couch. She is embodying the hygge lifestyle as she reads a book and takes notes in her notebook. She's snuggled up with a comfy blanket and surrounded by beautiful decor.
A modern homemaker should remember to take time to be slow, and enjoy their hobbies when they can

She Is Frugal

It is important for all people to be good stewards of their resources. When a homemaker is frugal, she is a true blessing for her family and makes each penny stretch.

But we can easily fall into a habit of shopping for something any time we encounter a problem. We don’t need a million different cleaning sprays when just some vinegar or bleach will do. We don’t need the perfect pillows that just came out at Target.

No, the best frugal skill for a homemaker is to learn to make do with what she has. What do you already have in your home that could do just as well?

Maybe instead of buying those new pillows, you could sew some covers for the ones you already home.

Not only is this good for saving money, it is good for saving the planet. Use what you have so that you can be a good steward of your money and the planet, too.

Decorative image of an Asian woman in a beautiful, rustic kitchen surrounded by interesting decor and house plants. She is drinking a cup of red tea and looking off to the side, perhaps looking outside.
I love learning how to be a good homemaker. Don’t you?

A Good Homemaker Knows When Something Is “Good Enough”

We must make compromises every day as homemaker. We can’t always do everything to perfection, no matter how much we wish we could.

An important skill for a good homemaker to learn is when something is good enough. When the kitchen is clean enough. When the living room is comfortable enough.

Much like art, homemaking is never finished. You must choose when a specific project is done to satisfaction, each and every day, without feeling guilt because you didn’t do a perfect job.

Decorative image of a woman in a dark living room looking out into the evening. Looking out the windows, we see palm trees, so she is probably in California. There is a move playing on TV, and a colorful ceramic pineapple on the table.
It can be tough to always embody homemaker good qualities. Make sure to take time for yourself.

She Makes Her Home Comfortable With Small Touches

A blanket draped against the couch. A pillow strategically placed. Warm socks. Yummy smelling candles.

Small touches make a home, and transform it from merely a house to a hygge haven.

These small touches also tend to be the most inexpensive changes as well.

Decorative image of beautiful flowers and a cup of coffee next to a pile of photographs on a wooden table.
I find joy in a cup of coffee every morning. How do you find joy as a homemaker?

She Knows How To Care For Minor Health Issues Naturally

It is frugal and good to deal with minor health issues with herbs and other natural options. Learn the basics of home health care, take some classes in first aid, and you will escape many trips to the ER. You can even learn the basics of herbalism for free in many cases!

What a blessing it is to be able to care for your family when necessary!

Decorative image of a mom holding her baby daughter up in the air and laughing. They are outside on a warm fall day, with leaves on the ground and the trees mostly bare.
Part of being a good homemaker is finding joy in the small things

When it comes to being a good homemaker, the skills and tips above are definitely important, but they aren’t everything. It’s important to remember that your ultimate goal is to make your home work for your family and yourself.

So if you find yourself stressing out about doing everything above, have a meeting with the rest of your family and ask what they care about most. Ask what they are willing to help with, too. You are all supposed to work together.

I don’t always succeed in my homemaking goals. Some days I am sick, or depressed, or anxious. Some days I just don’t feel like doing everything, so I settle for doing my priorities like the dishes and playing with my kid.

Give yourself grace and time to learn how to be super mom and super homemaker. It will come in time, but not if you force yourself to do more than you can. That will lead you into burnout, which isn’t helpful for anyone.

Good luck in your homemaking endeavors!

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